Hi guys, as I said in my first few post about self disclosure. Let me repeat again, self-disclosure is how we revel our information about ourselve.
Maybe everyone of us don't know what make us find a friend in a strange place. As we human got one thing special about us is we can communicate and we need to communicate. At a place, we tend to make friends.
Most of us try to find and share a common interest, this will help us easily to disclose more information and build relationships. Beside that, an event also can helps to build relationships as the situation will help us to disclose ourself , our ability and our personality as well.
The principle is very easy here. The more we disclose ourselve, the more easy for us to make friends! haha good luck in making friends from today onward.
Hong Chun
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Depression
Depression is where we reach the deepest track in our mind. Depression is a mental illness which make us feel sad and think of negative thoughts continuously. It make our world and life dark. It make us feel suffer and can't get rid of that easily.
Well, not many people have experience what we called ' depression' before, therefore is not easy to understand the feeling of the person that had depression before. Many people might asked, what's wrong with this person, everytime think of negative things only, haiz! Some of them , they rather to just leave this person aside, as they don't know what to do to communicate with this person. Some of them might stay beside this person, to help this person to get rid of the depression.
According to the scientific research that i read before, they said when we think of negative things, the negative things will come to your mind continuously. It is because our brain will produce some sort of chemical. In the same time, it is hard to stop us to think negative things as well. If this situation continue to occur, then this is where the person will most likely to experiences depression.
well, to a person who is having depression, there are few ways that can help us to communicate with that person. 1st, try to think positive about yourselve before talking to him. Secondly, when having conversation with him, try to give eye contact which is very important, because it will helps to give him an idea of we are listening and paying attention to him. Next, we need to listen empathically and we must know that the speaker's intention is good. Try not to make any judgement and analyse what is he trouble at, what is his main concern? Did he need attention from everyone? Did he need a friend who can talk to? etc.... then guide him slowly to think positive.
well, as a friend,it is hard to give treatment to a person who suffer depression, but at least, what we can do is to support and be there for him. IF it is possible, try to seek professional help, because they are the one who knows how to deal and guide the person to has a normal life again.
by hong chun
Well, not many people have experience what we called ' depression' before, therefore is not easy to understand the feeling of the person that had depression before. Many people might asked, what's wrong with this person, everytime think of negative things only, haiz! Some of them , they rather to just leave this person aside, as they don't know what to do to communicate with this person. Some of them might stay beside this person, to help this person to get rid of the depression.
According to the scientific research that i read before, they said when we think of negative things, the negative things will come to your mind continuously. It is because our brain will produce some sort of chemical. In the same time, it is hard to stop us to think negative things as well. If this situation continue to occur, then this is where the person will most likely to experiences depression.
well, to a person who is having depression, there are few ways that can help us to communicate with that person. 1st, try to think positive about yourselve before talking to him. Secondly, when having conversation with him, try to give eye contact which is very important, because it will helps to give him an idea of we are listening and paying attention to him. Next, we need to listen empathically and we must know that the speaker's intention is good. Try not to make any judgement and analyse what is he trouble at, what is his main concern? Did he need attention from everyone? Did he need a friend who can talk to? etc.... then guide him slowly to think positive.
well, as a friend,it is hard to give treatment to a person who suffer depression, but at least, what we can do is to support and be there for him. IF it is possible, try to seek professional help, because they are the one who knows how to deal and guide the person to has a normal life again.
by hong chun
Sunday, November 8, 2009
a self disclosure sponge???
seriously, have you guys ever experience anything like this?? i don't mind much really but nowadays people seem to get more and more horrible..okay, here is my case.
I don't know why but i always find people coming up to me to tell stories off their wonderful life.They just come to me out of the blue and tell me this and that. At first, I felt weird but i listened all the same though keeping quiet most of the time and belief me, it can be real tiring!
It all started since form1 as i am a `pembimbing rakan sebaya'(PRS) where it is my duty to become the counsellor's extra ears. As it is part of my duty to listen ppl self disclose, I didn't really care how their treatment towards me was. Its my job afterall..I manages to hold on till form5.Here, i couldn't take it anymore. I had a major breakdown.
Therefore, after that,i came up with ways to cool myself down; the ways that i just wrote about just now to get rid of those things bottled in me. it really did help!
I find it fascinating and annoying as i really don't know why people come to me and just self disclose...I don't have a label on me that says self disclosure sponge have I?? ohya, the most interesting among all these self disclosers is my former class teacher. Being in her class, I am used to her always asking us to help her with her work. During these times, she used to tell me how she feel of our school and the problems she faces from her colleagues. Considering the fact that she is always fair and just and likes helping the students, she is not very popular among the other teachers.
Even now in college, people still tend to do that to me. The part that I hate most is that, after their self disclosure, they just dump you aside. When you have problems and need help, they don't even want to look at you! When they need you, its all honey and flowers to you...argh...sick...but then again, through these self disclosure sessions, i found my few bffs and i'm glad to say that they have so far stayed with me through thick and thin. if they didn't tell me how they feel, i wouldn't have known that we have so much in common.
through listening to these self disclosures too, i get to learn a lot from their situations and problems they face. hence, when i face it myself, i'm more prepared. I also realise that each person has his or her worries and it is wrong for us to perceive what a person's life is like for you really don't know what they are going through. matters that seem simple and uminportant to us may be a big issue for others, vice versa.
I don't know why but i always find people coming up to me to tell stories off their wonderful life.They just come to me out of the blue and tell me this and that. At first, I felt weird but i listened all the same though keeping quiet most of the time and belief me, it can be real tiring!
It all started since form1 as i am a `pembimbing rakan sebaya'(PRS) where it is my duty to become the counsellor's extra ears. As it is part of my duty to listen ppl self disclose, I didn't really care how their treatment towards me was. Its my job afterall..I manages to hold on till form5.Here, i couldn't take it anymore. I had a major breakdown.
Therefore, after that,i came up with ways to cool myself down; the ways that i just wrote about just now to get rid of those things bottled in me. it really did help!
I find it fascinating and annoying as i really don't know why people come to me and just self disclose...I don't have a label on me that says self disclosure sponge have I?? ohya, the most interesting among all these self disclosers is my former class teacher. Being in her class, I am used to her always asking us to help her with her work. During these times, she used to tell me how she feel of our school and the problems she faces from her colleagues. Considering the fact that she is always fair and just and likes helping the students, she is not very popular among the other teachers.
Even now in college, people still tend to do that to me. The part that I hate most is that, after their self disclosure, they just dump you aside. When you have problems and need help, they don't even want to look at you! When they need you, its all honey and flowers to you...argh...sick...but then again, through these self disclosure sessions, i found my few bffs and i'm glad to say that they have so far stayed with me through thick and thin. if they didn't tell me how they feel, i wouldn't have known that we have so much in common.
through listening to these self disclosures too, i get to learn a lot from their situations and problems they face. hence, when i face it myself, i'm more prepared. I also realise that each person has his or her worries and it is wrong for us to perceive what a person's life is like for you really don't know what they are going through. matters that seem simple and uminportant to us may be a big issue for others, vice versa.
7 ways to tell a secret safely =P
Hmmm....ever felt like exploding with too many secrets in you?? ever felt like telling your bestie about this teeny-weeny secret but scared she'll wag it out?? Well, here are some solutions =P choose one and it'll help. save you from banging your head at the wall and make you a good secret keeper. XD
1. Spill the beans!!! Say it out!!!
really, i mean it!!! you need to get it out of your head or else you'll suffer the rest of the day. say it and tell it to your bestie since childhood; your TEDDY!!! rofl... see, you can trust it can't you?? it will never tell others your secrets! well, it does not necessarily need to be a teddy; a bunny, wormy, ducky, doggy, anything that resembles a living thing =) give it a try ya...
2. Balloons fly high~~~^^
remember! buy a balloon! don't act smart and blow one yourself for the balloon won't fly XD
okay, buy a balloon and get a marker pen. ready? Start writing all the secrets you have on the balloon and secure a string to it after you are done. open your window and let the string go! be sure to watch the balloon as it rise higher and higher till it disappears. this will make you feel as though the secret has disappeared just like the balloons...^^
3. Burned to ashes...O.o
okay...you find talking to your cuddly friend and letting balloons too over the board. well, here is something normal on board! =P get a piece of paper and start writing. pour your heart out on the paper..it doesn't matter...then get a lighter and set it on fire! hahaha...you would be so relieved to see the secrets smouldering away^^ but be careful not to burn the house down ya^^
4. Fly kites fly~~~ ^^
this is very much like the balloons method~~~buy a kite...write secrets on it and let it go...but this may be more dangerous as the kite might end up at the balcony of the person you wrote about..lol..so be careful and find out which way the wind is blowing ya...
5. Shout and flush! XD
feel like bursting?? fret not...get into the toilet, lock the door and look at the toilet bowl...shout everything you want to say into the bowl and then flush! lo and behold, you just leaked a secret safely...ohya, of course the toilet i mentioned here is the one at home=) don't go screaming in school ya or it'll be disaster ^^
6. I blog, u blog, everbody blog...=P
you can write them down in your blog so as to not forget them altogether. however, the blog must be set to private or else it s not much of a difference from publishing your story in the newspaper! ^^ so be carefull..
7. dear diary....^^
last but not least...is to keep a diary...really, i don't recommend this very much to anyone!! I find this method very dangerous! anyone who came upon your diary will be able to read the contents! it is very good in the sense of self reflective but still...=S my bro once read my diary and omg! i can't tell you how embarassed i am!!! argh...
Well, here are the seven ways to let the secret out but hurt no one!!! cool huh?? i personally uses 1,3,5,6, and 7 respectively..^^ and they worked...you feel much lighter after that...so, give it a try ya^^ no more self torture or betrayal anymore! =)
1. Spill the beans!!! Say it out!!!
really, i mean it!!! you need to get it out of your head or else you'll suffer the rest of the day. say it and tell it to your bestie since childhood; your TEDDY!!! rofl... see, you can trust it can't you?? it will never tell others your secrets! well, it does not necessarily need to be a teddy; a bunny, wormy, ducky, doggy, anything that resembles a living thing =) give it a try ya...
2. Balloons fly high~~~^^
remember! buy a balloon! don't act smart and blow one yourself for the balloon won't fly XD
okay, buy a balloon and get a marker pen. ready? Start writing all the secrets you have on the balloon and secure a string to it after you are done. open your window and let the string go! be sure to watch the balloon as it rise higher and higher till it disappears. this will make you feel as though the secret has disappeared just like the balloons...^^
3. Burned to ashes...O.o
okay...you find talking to your cuddly friend and letting balloons too over the board. well, here is something normal on board! =P get a piece of paper and start writing. pour your heart out on the paper..it doesn't matter...then get a lighter and set it on fire! hahaha...you would be so relieved to see the secrets smouldering away^^ but be careful not to burn the house down ya^^
4. Fly kites fly~~~ ^^
this is very much like the balloons method~~~buy a kite...write secrets on it and let it go...but this may be more dangerous as the kite might end up at the balcony of the person you wrote about..lol..so be careful and find out which way the wind is blowing ya...
5. Shout and flush! XD
feel like bursting?? fret not...get into the toilet, lock the door and look at the toilet bowl...shout everything you want to say into the bowl and then flush! lo and behold, you just leaked a secret safely...ohya, of course the toilet i mentioned here is the one at home=) don't go screaming in school ya or it'll be disaster ^^
6. I blog, u blog, everbody blog...=P
you can write them down in your blog so as to not forget them altogether. however, the blog must be set to private or else it s not much of a difference from publishing your story in the newspaper! ^^ so be carefull..
7. dear diary....^^
last but not least...is to keep a diary...really, i don't recommend this very much to anyone!! I find this method very dangerous! anyone who came upon your diary will be able to read the contents! it is very good in the sense of self reflective but still...=S my bro once read my diary and omg! i can't tell you how embarassed i am!!! argh...
Well, here are the seven ways to let the secret out but hurt no one!!! cool huh?? i personally uses 1,3,5,6, and 7 respectively..^^ and they worked...you feel much lighter after that...so, give it a try ya^^ no more self torture or betrayal anymore! =)
How to make your crowds listen to you from the begining?
Well , the hardest thing to do in public speaking is to make your crowds listen to you from the begining. Initially, the first impression is the most important for the speaker to his/her audience. If the starting part is successful, this will motivate the crowds to listen to the speaker, opposite results will occur if the speaker fail to do so.
So there are few ways to start in a public speaking.
1) The speaker can introduce him/herself and let them know how the topic will help and benefits to them.
2) Let them know how long the speaker going to take for the speech.
3)Start with a game, ice breaking that will motivate and listen to the speaker.
4) Start with a joke or an interesting story.
With these ways, this will motivate the crowds to listen to the speaker as the crowds learn how interesting the content going to be . thank you
By Hong Chun,chrno
So there are few ways to start in a public speaking.
1) The speaker can introduce him/herself and let them know how the topic will help and benefits to them.
2) Let them know how long the speaker going to take for the speech.
3)Start with a game, ice breaking that will motivate and listen to the speaker.
4) Start with a joke or an interesting story.
With these ways, this will motivate the crowds to listen to the speaker as the crowds learn how interesting the content going to be . thank you
By Hong Chun,chrno
public speaking once my fear
Hey guys and girls, today i would like to talk about public speaking in my life. I was once fear about public speak, especially when i need to speak in front of alot of crowds.
Back then, I was very nervous when I had joined a speech competition during my primary school. I learned and kept practised hard so that I could prepared for the competition. That day, I remembered that I was scared when I stood on the stage facing hundreds of people in a hall. What I had done was , I told myself that I will make! I gave out my courage and spoke it out. From primary till college life, as I grew up, I learnt the fear, seek for the fear and overcome it. Of course to say that it was hard to overcome the fear of public speaking, but as long as we are determined and gave out the courage to talk, people will listen to us.
Let see how i learnt my fear of public speaking. Firstly, I list out the main point that what i want to talk for the public speaking. Then, I plan how to start and end my speech. After that I keep practice by using mirror or to myself to listen. Lastly, challenge my fear, I keep told myself that I can do it! I will make my crowds to listen to what I said! This is how i overcome my fear of public speaking.
By Hong Chun, Chrno
Back then, I was very nervous when I had joined a speech competition during my primary school. I learned and kept practised hard so that I could prepared for the competition. That day, I remembered that I was scared when I stood on the stage facing hundreds of people in a hall. What I had done was , I told myself that I will make! I gave out my courage and spoke it out. From primary till college life, as I grew up, I learnt the fear, seek for the fear and overcome it. Of course to say that it was hard to overcome the fear of public speaking, but as long as we are determined and gave out the courage to talk, people will listen to us.
Let see how i learnt my fear of public speaking. Firstly, I list out the main point that what i want to talk for the public speaking. Then, I plan how to start and end my speech. After that I keep practice by using mirror or to myself to listen. Lastly, challenge my fear, I keep told myself that I can do it! I will make my crowds to listen to what I said! This is how i overcome my fear of public speaking.
By Hong Chun, Chrno
Roles and common mistakes
Nonverbal communication cues can play five roles:
- Repetition: they can repeat the message the person is making verbally
- Contradiction: they can contradict a message the individual is trying to convey
- Substitution: they can substitute for a verbal message. For example, a person's eyes can often convey a far more vivid message than words and often do
- Complementing: they may add to or complement a verbal message. A boss who pats a person on the back in addition to giving praise can increase the impact of the message
- Accenting: they may accent or underline a verbal message. Pounding the table, for example, can underline a message.
- You’re not subtle. Be objective about your own observations to make sure you aren’t offending others by broadly mimicking their speech or behavior. Remember, most people instinctively send and interpret nonverbal signals all the time, so don’t assume you’re the only one who’s aware of nonverbal undercurrents. Finally, stay true to yourself. Be aware of your own natural style, and don’t adopt behavior that is incompatible with it.
- You bluff. Thinking you can bluff by deliberately altering your body language can do more harm than good. Unless you’re a proficient actor, it will be hard to overcome your body’s inability to lie. There will always be mixed messages, signs that your channels of communication are not congruent. It’s a prime example of leakage, and something others will detect, one way or another.
- You rush to accuse based on body language alone. Incorrect accusations based on erroneous observations can be embarrassing and damaging and take a long time to overcome. Always verify your interpretation with another communications channel before rushing in. You could say something like, “I get the feeling you’re uncomfortable with this course of action. Would you like to add something to the discussion?” This should draw out the real message and force the individual to come clean or to adjust his or her body language.
Posted by Lok Yee Wei
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