Sunday, November 8, 2009

Roles and common mistakes

Nonverbal communication cues can play five roles:

  • Repetition: they can repeat the message the person is making verbally
  • Contradiction: they can contradict a message the individual is trying to convey
  • Substitution: they can substitute for a verbal message. For example, a person's eyes can often convey a far more vivid message than words and often do
  • Complementing: they may add to or complement a verbal message. A boss who pats a person on the back in addition to giving praise can increase the impact of the message
  • Accenting: they may accent or underline a verbal message. Pounding the table, for example, can underline a message.
Nonverbal communication and body language: Common mistakes
  • You’re not subtle. Be objective about your own observations to make sure you aren’t offending others by broadly mimicking their speech or behavior. Remember, most people instinctively send and interpret nonverbal signals all the time, so don’t assume you’re the only one who’s aware of nonverbal undercurrents. Finally, stay true to yourself. Be aware of your own natural style, and don’t adopt behavior that is incompatible with it.
  • You bluff. Thinking you can bluff by deliberately altering your body language can do more harm than good. Unless you’re a proficient actor, it will be hard to overcome your body’s inability to lie. There will always be mixed messages, signs that your channels of communication are not congruent. It’s a prime example of leakage, and something others will detect, one way or another.
  • You rush to accuse based on body language alone. Incorrect accusations based on erroneous observations can be embarrassing and damaging and take a long time to overcome. Always verify your interpretation with another communications channel before rushing in. You could say something like, “I get the feeling you’re uncomfortable with this course of action. Would you like to add something to the discussion?” This should draw out the real message and force the individual to come clean or to adjust his or her body language.

Posted by Lok Yee Wei

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